Saturday, April 30, 2005

Jubilate, Gaea (Sort Of) (Fnord)

Auuugh. Where to start?

Pantheistic pagany types like myself are no less prone than anyone else to meteorologically based whining. We probably SHOULD be, but, well, we're not.

It needs to stop raining, and it needs to warm up. Period. It is friggin' ridiculous for there to be forecast for hail the day before May Day. (Happy sort-of Beltane, Beltane is today, but we won't celebrate until the third.)

The Artist and I were out at the Boss' Wednesday and Thursday. I also ended up spending the afternoons at BGTysh's, and most of the evenings at CDHSarah's, so I haven't been home all that much -- long enough to pet the kitties, basically.

As CDHSarah has already pointed out, LokiKabbalist is out of the group. We made this decision after the last meeting, when he tried to do the blackest, most left-hand (not being a sinistrist here) meditation and ritual for which I've ever had the misfortune to be present. I couldn't participate, and the visions I had while not participating frightened me badly. I was shaking after he left. I was scared.

I don't scare easy. I've been through a lot of bullshit and a lot of hell in my life, and not much frightens me. Nuclear war, somewhat. The fate of my kitty when he gets out. The idea of losing my parents. But I'm rarely made afraid by individuals. LokiKB makes me afraid now. I've had an ache in the pit of my stomach since Wednesday night that won't go away. I've spent almost every night since then in company, because this whole thing has me in a flutter. But he is a danger to himself and others, that classic shrink line, and we can't continue to ignore it. He has to go, tomorrow night, it looks like, if we can get him into town to let him know that he's out.

Needless to say, I am not looking forward to this.

To channel the energy in a positive fashion, I made a primitive Goddess (I may be selling them for BGTysh before too long), Willendorf-Venus style, for my own altar. I was gonna photograph it to show y'all, but sometime between getting home and going back out, I have misplaced her. (Good on me, but hey, hail Discordia.) When I find her, you will get to see her. She may be in the car, but it's late and dark and wet out there, and honestly I don't really want to go look too much.

So I've spent a lot of time doing nothing the past few days, and made up for it by going in and working a thirteen-hour day for the network's all-jewelry day. I made the serious money tonight, but it did nothing but remind me why I need to work from home sooner rather than later.

But soon there will be rebate checks and books from ET and other goodness in the mail for me, and Eris helped me out and got Comcast to disconnect the wrong service, which means no service interruption for me, so hahahaha jokes' on the universe.

Goddessy goodness soon. In the meantime, give me the love. I have to do another 8 hours tomorrow morning and then kick someone out of my religious group, so I could use it.


At 3:06 AM, Anonymous lady alambil said...

Oh-so-many *hugs* and love and wishes and hopes and thoughts and...fnord, fnord, fnord, fnord, fnord.

At 12:17 PM, Blogger parcequilfaut said...

A fat cat who shall remain nameless completely squished the Willendorf Venus, pretty much beyond repair -- turns out it was UNDER a CAT and that's why I couldn't find it -- so y'all will have to wait until I finish WV 2.0.


At 5:47 PM, Blogger Special Sauce said...

The kitties LOVE doing that, don't they? Sorry she was squished, but I'm glad to hear it's not a total loss.

I know it has happened by now, but good luck with the ass-kicking (so to speak).


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