Whiiiiiiinnnneeeeee.........

That is the sound on this, the night of the full moon.

I do not know. I am not sure. But it is looking fairly certain that the Powers that Be want me to extend my celibacy. For another quarter-year.

I try not to be a bad diviner. I try to read even my own cards honestly. But I reviewed a couple of spreads done at the same time as the main one, and it looks to me like I misjudged, intentionally or not, the right date, spiritually, to release the binding I placed upon myself.

Basically, I am being called upon to do a year declared, instead of backdating it to the having of the sex, as before.

This may seem weird, since really nothing is compelling me. But at the same time, all the things I believe in ARE compelling me, and if I'm not responsible enough to take what I'm being told as truth, then I just ought to hang up my cards and my coins and go back to Sunday school.

And this really sucks. Because I love sex, and I want sex, and that's why I have to keep not having sex, because I'm not ready to behave myself responsibly in a spiritual fashion.

Gently falling raindrop, we've moved from "Damn you" to "No, FUCK YOU!" complete with Judd Nelson impersonation. And denim jacket with cut off sleeves.

Off to do MORE divinations, to see if I have any wiggle room. Chances are I don't, but best to be thorough. Is this how The Ren Reb feels when it's time for Pesach?